In the last newsletter, I waxed on about that ever-growing frustration that comes with the end of winter and how I am compelled to move forward with goals. Well… February was a real testament to working within natural cycles. Like the fresh green leaves sprouted from my hyacinth bulbs in the garden, so did I emerge from a snuggly cocoon. It’s been brutal.
I didn’t count on the magical effect of letting winter be winter and using that time to hibernate so that I could kick ass in spring. I didn’t count on how productive I turned out to be. Spring, so far, has been wild. So much socializing. Phone calls, birthday parties, girly date nights, husband date nights and ticking off enormous sources of anxiety.
My unofficial to-do list was long. Things like getting passports for the kids, booking a family holiday, and booking my driving test (yes, I can’t drive). I can’t even remember everything. All of that is ticked off and done. I call it my unofficial list because these goals have been there for so long that they almost don’t exist anymore. I could ignore them until I couldn’t.
It’s so fascinating how some people can do these simple tasks with ease, whereas I find much larger and harder jobs easier to face. Me, I find myself doing these smaller tasks in batches. After finishing one, I steamroll onto the second and third more quickly. It takes so much courage to go through these anxieties, I’m usually pretty exhausted afterwards. And it’s not over yet. I still have to do the driving test in a few weeks now that it’s booked.
We’re two months out from our very first family vacation. It’s going to be the highlight of the summer. My husband and I typically enjoy culture trips where we visit museums and galleries and splurge on fine food. However, with two small kiddos, we are taking a sun holiday! So it’s all about the swimming pools and slides this time. We’re hopeful that this is the beginning of a very wonderful tradition. Making memories with our children is at the forefront of both of our minds. There are several other trips planned and booked, keeping in theme with our mantra for the year: Don’t try too hard.
We used our Tesco clubcard points for the first time in a meaningful way: to pay for a hotel in London! If you’ve been sitting on points, use them!
True to the essence of springtime, this season has been transformative and filled with new life and new hope. I’ve grown in a lot of ways. I’m ready to leave certain habits in the past and I’m really freaking happy now that I’m a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t fully grasp how anxious I felt juggling a full-time job and motherhood. The thought of returning to work had been a dark cloud over my maternity leave. And now, my time is my own and it’s still a strange concept. There is no “end” or deadline. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced living without deadlines.
The inner peace I feel is not to be snubbed. I hope your spring is equally full of joy and wonder.
Read my last newsletter here: Winter and Romanticising January